I don’t know if you are anything like me, but I can hear a pattern repeated and etched upon my ear in certain seasons.
It is similar to when you buy a new car and suddenly see the same model, brand, and color everywhere, and you never even noticed them before. It is like that with me but with all manner of things.
This week, my brain’s recurring ‘record skip’ is about pausing. It’s like when you’re listening to a vinyl record and it suddenly gets stuck on a certain phrase, playing it over and over again. In my case, it’s the idea of pausing that keeps repeating in my mind.
It is about “slowing down to go fast,” regrouping and resetting.
I’m currently reading Natalie Nixon’s “The Creativity Leap” (Berrett-Koehler, 2020). It is a book about living in the constant tension of wonder and rigor to leap forward with creativity. In this book, Nixon recommends that we use her 3i Creativity Model as a tactical means of creativity.
The 3is are Inquiry, Improvisation, and Intuition.
At the beginning of her book, Nixon suggests something that ought to precede all that, and it popped out at me during one of these pattern recognition moments.
“Wonder requires space to do nothing. This may be a radical proposition in our times of fast-paced, just-in-time expectations. The art of doing nothing requires suspending assumptions and the ability to wait. Waiting can be nerve-wracking…it is rigorous work to sit with the ambiguity of not knowing and sensing out options.” Nixon
- I am pretty good at wonder.
- I am not too bad at rigor.
- I am challenged when asked to wait and suspend assumptions.
- I am terrible at pausing and doing nothing.
Yet, this is a pattern that keeps popping up.
Here is another quote from a conversation that a friend reminded me of the other day:
“Great leaders turn down the noise low enough and long enough to be ruthlessly curious about their emotions.” Clay Scroggins
…And another:
“Sometimes we need to press pause and remember the why…” Laura Brown
…And another:
“It’s not only OK, but it is also necessary to “mourn our lost goals (e.g. from the beginning of the year) before resetting and renewing” our progress.” Jenn Williams
…and another:
“Reset: Replan : Rework: None of these indicate failure” (Sisters of Industry)
This is all poignant and timely advice — but how do we slow down long enough to press pause amidst the tumultuous change, peril, and challenges we face in our company and the world?
That question I have been wrestling with took another conversation to help me find a possible solution.
As I spoke to a friend yesterday about this pattern and the weight I was feeling from our current state of fast-paced, ever-changing, mercilessly mounting expectations and challenges, she asked:
John, what are your negotiables, and what are your non-negotiables?
It was one of those times when you gave the same advice to a hundred people yourself, but it took someone else to ring the bell for you. Do you know what that’s like?
I wrote that down when she said that, and I drew a line down the middle, resolving to start working on that list immediately.
I got very little in the non-negotiable column. Everything today seems so monumentally essential and life and culture-changing that non-negotiable is not in the vocabulary for so many critical matters that must be faced and tackled assertively in our midst?
I decided to start small. I decided to do one non-negotiable thing.
I have this habit of waking up at 4 a.m. and listening to podcasts. I will finally get out of bed and start taking care of some activities of daily living, one of which, brewing my morning coffee, sits very high on that list. All the while, I will have some form of podcast, YouTube, TedTalk, etc., filling the (rather limited 🙂 ) space between my ears with new thoughts and ideas.
I have even developed the occasional habit of adding a walk to these daily activities some mornings; it is excellent to get a little exercise. Besides, I can use that time to listen to even more podcasts, sermons, and audiobooks!
Yesterday, after my conversation with my wise friend, I wrote in the non-negotiable column:
“Walk every morning and do it without external content (aka without headphones.)”
I mentioned that I only used to walk occasionally in the mornings. The other 80% of the time, I go upstairs to my office to log on. Even if I have meetings that take me way beyond an 8, 9, or 10-hour day, I will too often log on. That is also part of my new non-negotiable.
I don’t have to rush to my office to log on; I can take a walk in the quiet.
I can leave the headphones at home, and the laptop can wait 30 or 40 more minutes for me to arrive.
Those are my non-negotiables. They are different for all of us.
Your food for thought is: “what are my non-negotiables?”
If you are having trouble with this, here is a common visual that is used for so many things, from resilience to sports to finance, but I like this application of it:
Imagine your negotiables are tennis balls, and your non-negotiables are eggs. Visualize yourself juggling them and start thinking about whether or not some of the things you initially see flying through the air are genuine eggs or tennis balls that you can let drop, and things will bounce along just fine after all.
I hope you find this valuable. And remember, if for any reason you want to bounce me like a tennis ball after reading this, don’t worry — I get it … no need to scramble any eggs; this is all just Food for Thought.
I would love for you to join me on YouTube for more encouragement, quotes, Growth Mindset advice, and even a few jokes. I’d also love to hear your thoughts and comments!
I want to see you soar! #iwant2CUsoar
Leave a Reply