Recipe for a Hallmark movie

1 part 80’s or 90’s TV star – preferably B or C list (sometimes they double this)

1 part lovely single woman who has experienced tragedy, loss and/or heartbreak (or is just profoundly misunderstood by her current boyfriend who is either completely milk toast (or just mean to waiters)

1 part dreamy or dashing single dude who works as a carpenter, farm hand or country doctor (often he is a widower or has had his heart broken)

Mix briskly with sugary sweet dialog and a healthy dash of shameless product placement (Apple I’m talking to you)

Note: Make sure all of this is done in a state of the art (yet somehow rustic?) kitchen, set inside a fantastical dream home or luxurious cabin set upon a mountainside or near a glorious lake with views that none of the characters could possibly afford but are sheer cinematic gold.

Let it rise with a chance meeting, initially they never like each other much (but you can feel the romantic tension in the air)

After it rises, swirl in some extremely minor conflict, not so thrilling story twist and/or an old curmudgeon or sweet Aunt or Uncle character from a rival 80″s or 90s TV show meddling in the couple’s affairs

Bake it into a formulaic, completely predictably plot

After cooling, ice it with some flashbacks or clips of the torn and / or perplexed would be lovers anguishing over the temporary breakup/fight/contrived conflict

Serve with a happy and equally syrupy ending where they kiss/get married/ride off into the sunset while the uncle / aunt character cheers them on

This dish is best served with a compliment of Hallmark commercials that make you ball your eyes out even though you are a grown man and are only watching because you got sucked in by committing the crime of walking by the TV/laying in bed trying to go to sleep and/or wanting to spend time with your wife
Bon Apetit!!!

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