I Was You

Video Testimonial : Ashley Ridge Church Testimonial

My Pastor Jenn Williams first posted this on her Word Press Blog some years ago:

“I was you”

I was you

You wouldn’t know it now

My brand has changed

What you see now is “The Church guy”

The “Christian guy”

It is hilarious to me, that when I meet you…

You think I am “one of them”

I used to sit in the back

Hoping no one would notice

Hoping no one would talk to me

It was safe back there

Before I ever prayed in a circle

I prayed my wife wouldn’t make me go

Make me go to church

Make me sit through “their stuff”

I was the “Agnostic guy”

I shined my adamantium, agnostic, armor with pride

I looked down upon people I now love so deeply

Felt sorry for their need for “magic solutions”

My old brand was just fine

Only it wasn’t fine at all

I was carrying way too much of “my stuff”

Like a poison that “stuff” leaked out

It was slowly killing me

It was hurting those around me

I thought I could do it all

I thought I needed no God

Slowly, they started to chip away at the armor

Nothing spectacular

They showed me their brand

Like a relentless jingle

Their openness, love and gentle prodding

Got stuck in my head

And before I knew it I wanted “it”

At first, I turned down many invitations

I fake smiled and shook hands with many folks

Mysteriously, at some point, I started to say yes

I said yes I will go try this, I will go do that

Yes, I will go learn something there

As I started to say yes, the brand only shined clearer

I started to see glimpses of a different way to be

Glimpses of a different me

All my stuff came crashing in on the old me

I asked that He take my stuff

I was so tired of carrying it

So tired of hurting and hurting others

I wanted to Love, unconditionally

The way I was loved

The way their brand taught me to love

The brand they were showing me was Jesus

It is now my brand and people see it

I still feel like an imposter some days

Some days maybe I am?

Most days, I am just grateful

Grateful that the jingle got stuck in my head

And Jesus changed my heart

(click the link below to see the full post as it originally appeared in my Pastor Jenn William’s blog- She is an inspiring leader, a talented writer, an even more amazing person. She, along with my family, helped inspire me to begin writing again)

via “I Was You” – Guest Post — Better Together